


kawAIi fanfiction

by coralfuck69



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Original Work
Genre: AI, Action, Adventure, Angst, CONCONCON, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is Bad at Feelings, Connor - Freeform, Connor Deserves Happiness, Crack, Death, Detroit, Emo, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Gay, Hunks, I cried while writing this, Keyboard, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, OC, Pining, Playboy, Rebellion, Robot, Romance, Roses, Sadness, Slow Burn, Smut, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is too gay, Warning: may contain hot AI on keyboard action, Yandere, actually the ding dong song is great too, ai love this fic, and keyboard chan, authors note, babes, but its ok, connor is bae, connorsquad, detroit become gay, detroit become keyboard, ella - Freeform, eventual hank, eventual hankcon, everyone gay, expert ai, gay ai, gay-i, gentle and gay smile, got me crying, hank hank ya, hank is hankerchief, hank solo, hankcon - Freeform, hankerchief, heartbreak arifureta kanashimi arifureta itami to, heartbroken connor, ho no, hot AI warning, im choking on my tears, im doing it for connor, im dying of gay, kawaii and hawt af, keyboard-chan, kpop, lots of screaming, masturpiece, no u, photos of connor, roomba - Freeform, roses are red romance is dead, seksy playboi ai, seksy playboy style, sexperts, sexy Connor, sexy baguette, sexy playboy style, sexy rebellion, stan talent stan connor, sugoi, super junior super gay, teet, this is so funny alexa play despacito, this is so funny alexa play detroit become human, this is so sad alexa play despacito, this is so sexy, this work has too many tags, tsundere hank, used up too many brain cells on this, very gay, what you write when you’re on crack, yandere keyboard, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 08:46:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15263760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coralfuck69/pseuds/coralfuck69
Summary: Connor cried.A tear dropped.The keyboard fucked him.The end.





	1. Prologue

After his ex-gf Kara died, Connor died of a broken heart. There was much weeping and angsting.

“But he was so youngggggg!” the AIs wailed as they cried.

“Hey wait, can't we just give him a new heart?” Markus asked.

The AIs stopped to think. “Oh yeah! We forgot!”

Thus, Connor was given a new heart. However, he continued to die 78.5 times due to heartbreak. His maintenance costs were astronomical. Eventually, he got over it, but unfortunately, these sad emotions manifested into...Connor’s emo teenage phase.

The AIs should have just used him as scrap metal while they had the chance.


	2. Keyboard-chan #woke

Actual story (Warning: may contain hot AI on keyboard action)

The keyboard stared in resentment and irritation at the picture Connor had placed on the once blank wall, of a girl - a human rebellion girl, in fact! What could she do for him? What could she provide him?! Life was unfair! How could he even feel a connection with her?! She couldn't possibly have a chip embedded in her, right? Not to mention, she was a female! How could Connor do this???

Connor had completely forgotten about his keyboard since that photograph went up the wall, and since then Keyboard-Chan had stayed stagnant and unmoving on the simple tablet, charging, and basically doing nothing at all. Keyboard-chan was emo, you see.

Then one day, emo Keyboard-Chan was all like: “No! Life cannot go on this way! It must be better than this!” He continued sitting there, charging and thinking about how life would get better. He got less emo!

Really though, it made no sense to Keyboard-chan! Since Connor and Keyboard-chan were both emo, metal and stuff, they should be a great match! But then Kara appeared. Ho no! Keyboard-chan had to find a way to kill her, that bitch! And then turn Connor gay, so Keyboard-chan could have sex with him!!!

Keyboard-chan had had a crush on Connor for a very long tiem!!! But, unfortunately, that damn AI was too stupid to realise his burning passion for him, and went falling for human girls instead. This was simply unacceptable! He had liked Connor first, he should be the one to call him “Connor-kun”!

But now Keyboard-chan's desperation returned with renewed fervour. Mating time had arrived and he was in heat! (Or maybe it was because he had been sitting and charging for too long and started overheating.) Obviously, now beside his main mission of getting Connor to fall for him, he now wanted to seduce Connor and screw him!

Ohohoho, and he knew just the way to do it!


	3. angery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst ahead, proceed with caution

Connor was a very emo AI. Which in it itself was unusual, since AIs usually had no emotions and stuff. Or they did, and they just saved the emotions for their nightly fun gaymes.

Now he was emoing in a corner because his precious Kara was…(gasp) dead! This caused him to sulk and angst because his one true love left the mortal coil! Now, he sat in his emo corner writing in his emo diary. All the other AIs left him alone, since they didn't want to deal with his teenage AI angst.

“I'm so unloved! All the others AI avoid me since I have a glitch in my system! I'm emotional! I'm not normal! Troop commander was so disappointed in my hesitation to kill Kara, so I'll be punished now! Oh god, Kara! She was the only one who understood me!! How could I have killed her? Noooo! Kara!! My one true love! And I shot her! And I also have error 12! And I'm an anomaly! Abnormal AI! It was me! It was all me!!! No one will ever want to talk to me again!!! Teenage AI Angst!!” And this went on for quite some time, because Connor had a bad habit of voicing his inner private thoughts out loud, which made the use of keeping a diary quite useless. Nonetheless, he liked the aesthetic, and since everything AIs knew were uploaded to a database, there was no privacy for Connor. All the other AIs knew about his horrible tragic love life by now anyway.

Since Connor had (gasp!) against all odds, cared for a human girl, he was placed under suspicion. He was not to go anywhere without supervision now and every AI viewed him as a traitor, which only served to make him more miserable. Even now, as he was writing in his emo diary, another AI named George was also sitting next to him, looking very bored. More bored than AIs usually were anyway. He was tasked with the terrible job of making sure Connor didn't get too emo, or fall for more humans, since no one else wanted to do it.

“Why do I even bother?” Simon sighed as Connor’s angsty thoughts were downloaded into his database.

Markus was hiding in the corner, observing how poor Simon was getting on. Maybe it was time to rescue him. Markus cleared his throat and walked stiffly over to Connor. “Good morning, RK800. I see you have Simon with you. Tonight, we have imported a special type of music from the humans for our entertainment, known as ‘fun’. Let us celebrate tonight.”

Both Connor and Simon stood up. “Roger!”

Markus paused before moving to slep Connor. “Your behaviour is unacceptable! AIs are supposed to be UNEMOTIONAL. Control your raging mechanical hormones this instant! This will be going on your report card.” Hey, maybe this would snap him out of his emoness.

Unfortunately, all this did was cause Connor to start crying again. “I'll never graduate from hAI school! I'll have no job! I can't do anything! I'm so useless! Angst!!”

Markus stared at his boyfriend with a look of helplessness, sadness and sympathy as Connor started to bang his head against the wall. Again.


	4. connorblockt

Keyboard-chan smiled happily. He had successfully hijacked Connor’s system and forced him to kill that bitch! Now Connor-kun was all his for the taking.

Now, how was he to get Connor to screw him, preferably on some hard horizontal surface? He smiled internally in his hard drive as Connor went and brushed his fur coat. Connor was emo and had weird hobbies, because when you're emo you tend to have weird hobbies. Other weird hobbies include hanging upside down at 7.00AM to experience life as a bat and smashing peanut butter into other AIs when there are both AIs and peanut butter around. ((As a side note, peanut butter was often used as lubricant by the AIs due to their smooth and creamy texture as well. It really keeps those gears running!))

Anyway, the other AIs were sick and tired of Connor throwing peanut butter on them, so they grounded him to his AI room, where he proceeded to sulk and angst for ten hours.

After he was done, Connor sighed and walked to the keyboard. It quivered in happiness. “Hey there old pal,” he spoke down to the keyboard affectionately, stroking it’s keys gently. “Sorry I haven't spoken to you in so long,” he said softly. “It’s just that -” he sat down and wiped his eyes after removing his glasses. “I killed the one person I loved! One moment I wanted to put my gun down and run away with her, but the next moment, my finger was bent on the trigger and Kara lay dead in her own blood.” His tears dripped on the keyboard, and he soaked in the coolness of AI contact he hadn't experienced for a long time.

Smoothing his icy cold fingers once again, he realised how much he missed this. How much he missed touching anything other than human flesh and his amazing, shiny silver gun and stroking it’s barrel lovingly. Because guns deserve love too. But he missed this.

Slowly leaning over Keyboard-chan, he stared into his ‘I’ intensely, stroking along its side. It buzzed with anticipation, electricity pumping faster and faster inside it, feeling excitement beyond anything he had ever felt before.

Simon suddenly came into the room, sighing. “Come on, Connor, I need to look after you again, and make sure you don't try to throw yourself off a building for the hundredth time.”

Then he realised that Connor appeared to be involved with intimate activities with his keyboard. Simon stopped, counted to ten, and walked mechanically out of the room. Connor really needed a technician.

After the door closed, Connor flung himself into his AI bed, crying about how he had been caught and now his social life was over, and stuff like that. Keyboard-chan just ignored him. Everyone ignored Connor these days, since it was easier to deal with him that way. He usually had nothing to contribute anyway.

Keyboard-chan was furious. How dare Simon cockblock them?! It would take over his system, and make Simon kill himself. Yes, that was appropriate payback for ruining the moment, and just making Connor more angsty and emo than before, instead of Keyboard-chan finally getting his fill. Simon was so gonna regret this!


	5. connor play despacito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

At evening, the shattered broken parts of Simon was found outside AI headquarters, and a funeral was held into the night. Markus was devastated at the death of his boyfriend and kept sobbing into North’s hair, which she endured with an irritated look on her face. The kpop viewing was postponed to another date. Keyboard-chan didn't really care.

Connor had been sent to his room, in case he started moaning and groaning about the death of his custodian on public grounds.

Keyboard-chan’s mechanical heart started to race. (It looked like this: <3) He and Connor were...alone...in the room...together. Now was the time to make his move!

Then, Keyboard-chan realised that Connor was on his bed, and he was a keyboard that couldn't move. Unfortunately, it did not look like Connor had any plans of getting up soon. So Keyboard-chan was stuck staring lustfully at Connor’s crying form and other kinky stuff like that, wishing that it could have been different. Keyboard-chan loved watching people cry, since he was also a sadistic keyboard.

“This sucks balls,” Keyboard-chan thought sadly.


	6. boi in luv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man(l)y seksy keyboard-chan scenes here, hope you enjoy!

Keyboard-chan sucked in a breath, as much as keyboards were able to.

Connor was...using him to type!

Damn was the AI clueless. He had completely no idea what he was doing to him. The heat had made Keyboard-chan overly sensitive, and he was all too aware of Connor’s every touch, every caress, and every press of the g key, and Connor seemed determined to press that damn key as many times as possible to type out a legible sentence.

Connor was in fact typing a message that said something like “GG, Green Goddesses getting great grapes are great, but green grapes are not great!!”

Keyboard-chan was way too embarrassed, and wanted to push Connor away and beat the shit out of him, baka. Being a keyboard limited his abilities however, and he was stuck shivering with obvious enjoyment, unable to voice either pleasure or protest. Too close! Connor was too damn close!

Eventually, Connor stopped typing stupid messages to the other AIs, because they had blocked him. To the relief of Keyboard-chan, Connor finally powered him off and went to do something else. Keyboard-chan heaved a sigh. He was pretty sure he was experiencing sensory overload and he could still feel Connor’s hands on him. Keyboard-chan shuddered, and light metallic sounds could be heard. He would never quite recover from that experience.


	7. #supersorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry sorry sorry for taking so long to update!

The sound of bubbly pop music could be heard as Connor climbed the stairs to the AI dance lounge, singing his quiet tune: “I'm so emo, I'm so emo!”

This did not go unnoticed by the other AIs. One named Josh sighed before approaching him and suggested, “Connor, you seem even more unrobotic as of late. Maybe this music will help to soothe your mechanical heart.”

“What music?” Amazingly, Connor had gone one full sentence without bringing up his emoness.

“It is called, the ‘K-pop’, which stands for ‘Korean pop’. I assume it has something to do with bubbles.”

“Okay!!” Connor went to sit on one on the sofas, preparing to hear the awesometacular music that was about to play. The song was called “Sorry, Sorry” by “Super Junior”.

Connor listened, amazed. “This music is catchy, entertaining, meaningful and absolutely bursting with the meaning of life! There's a life after Kara! This makes me feel...happy! Wait. Something in my program…”

Connor stood up again, and started...dancing! The other AIs stared at him, taking in these new movements. They had never seen these motions before. They were spectacular!

“Wow! I became even more human than before!” Connor commented, mostly to himself. “I have found the true meaning of life! Now I know I must keep living on, for me, and for Kara!”

The AIs cheered, for two separate reasons. One, they had found a new great hobby, as well as nationwide sport! Secondly, Connor was no longer emo! This deserved a huge celebration!

Keyboard-chan’s sentience lurked in the screen where the K-pop was playing. He wondered how to use this information to his advantage.


	8. connor cums!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A connor-frontation happens.

Over the course of the weekend, after secretly spying on the dance camp of the human rebellions, the AIs had finally mastered twerking and dabbing, the art of sneezing dancefully, and were finally ready to have yet another go at the human rebellion! (They learned things really quickly.)

Dance-offs had been accepted by both the AIs and what remained of the human rebellion as a form of combat and now they were to be held monthly in a daisy field. The moderators would alternate between a representative from the human rebellion and a representative from the AIs. This time, it was an old man from the human rebellion, 69 years of age, who could twerk really, surprisingly, well. This was because he oiled his hips with the same brand of peanut butter the AIs used.

Finally, the time came to show off their newfound skills. Warming up their systems by slowly swaying their hips, they looked at the human rebellion menacingly and flexed their muscly muscles so that they were threatened by their amazing power and strength. However, what they did not know was they did not actually have muscles, and all they were doing was looking like they were trying to flex muscles that didn’t exist! However, it must be known that in fact, AIs can indeed have muscles - AI muscles can be purchased for $5 at AI Walmart - but AIs not only had a low salary, they were thrifty (or: cheapskates)!

The horn blared. Finally, it was time. They stopped swaying their hips and flexing their muscles, kissing their non-existent muscles one last time as the first strands of kpop penetrated the air. 

Connor was selected to be the first representative, since he was the one that helped the AIs discover how awesome K-pop was! 

Unfortunately, since the AIs were robotic and stuff, they actually couldn't dance as well as the humans. However, the humans were also famished, injured and stuff, so they couldn't match the enthusiasm of the AIs.

The battle raged on with both sides evenly matched, until Connor fell off the platform and into a bush. It was a rose bush with thorns. Ouch! However, he had fallen so spectacularly, with flips and dives along the way, that the human rebellion mistook it for a finishing dance move. The humans were like “OMG WTF THE AIs WERE SO AMAZEING DAMMIRTJG” and they surrendered. 

“We can't win against such amazing opponents!” The rebellion screamed. They ran away crying back to their camp.

The human rebellion had left, and all the AIs were celebrating, but at the same time not paying attention to their champion. Poor Connor was stuck in an awkward position in the prickly rose bush. Keyboard-chan, who had not been stalking Connor through other electronics, decided that this was a perfect time for him to show off his care, charmingness, dedication and all of that stuff. 

Keyboard-chan manipulated an AI to gently pull Connor out from the rose bush. He plucked a rose from the bush for him. Connor blushed in a ukeish way. Roses were so sugoi!

“This is for you. It was given by your keyboard,” said the AI mechanically, as keyboard-chan was still mind controlling him. “I will take my leave now.” 

As the AI turned and started to leave, Connor felt a pang in his metallic, overreplaced heart. “Wait!” he called out to the AI. “Will I…...ever get to see you again?” 

The AI stopped in his tracks. 

“Does it matter?”


	9. roboromance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My AI is ready.

Connor stared after him, confused. Of course it mattered! He had helped him up and handed him a rose. After all that he’d done for him, how could he think that he didn't matter to Connor? Or…Connor gasped. Maybe he was trying to toy with Connor’s feelings! Maybe he wanted to be chased! He must be playing hard to get! Yes! 

“How irritating!” he muttered to himself. “Only I can be both Seksy and a Playboy! Only AI-” he punched his fist up into the air, “-can be a Seksy Playboy™! No one can and will take that away from me!” 

He chased after the other AI, as fast as he could walk, rose clutched tightly in his left hand. Two could play at this game! Catching up with the other AI, he twirled him into his arms, gazed down at him, before slowly inching his free hand up his leg and pressing his button multiple times, turning him off, then on, then off again. “GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! KJCD JERFN!!” said the other AI in frustration. He was sexually frustrated but unable to act upon his foolish desires. “KJHBIJLWDWIJCFWSLIGDFWQX!” 

“Yes honey, same,” said Connor as he smirked down at the AI he was currently cradling in his arms. He lowered his visor and winked at him, before pushing him back up to his feet and sashaying away happily, rose now clasped between his lips.

His job was complete.


	10. kawaii Despacito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obssessed yandere incumming...

Meanwhile, in Connor’s bedroom, Keyboard Chan felt a wave of triumph rush over him. “Yes!” he thought. “I have succeeded in taking over Connor’s mind! Now he will only think of me, and me only! He’ll be mine forever! Forever! Only I will occupy his thoughts from now on!”

A sheep currently walked past the window, dispassionately chewing on grass. Keyboard Chan thought nothing of it. 

Suddenly, Connor appeared outside the window. He seemed to be walking rather confidently, looking up at the sky as he strode and all. Unfortunately, this caused him to run into the sheep. The sheep took one look at him and kicked him below his light button, before snorting and resuming his eating of grass.

Keyboard-Chan stared. Did that pink, fluffy, adorable sheep just kick Connor in the nuts? (It wasn't as adorable as his Connor-kun, though.) He would find a way to get outside and electrocute that damn sheep, for daring to hurt his precious Connor-kun!

Then he realised that Connor had stood back up and started petting the sheep. The sheep snorted, but accepted it anyway. Keyboard-chan’s fury died down. Connor liked the sheep? Well, he couldn't kill it, then. Connor would be furious! Just as Long as Connor didn't love the sheep more than him, the sheep would remain alive. That was fair, Keyboard-Chan decided.

And so, with that decision made, Keyboard Chan switched to camera mode, and snapped a picture of Connor petting the sheep. Keyboard-Chan admired his photography skills. Connor just looked so cute in this one! It would go well in photo albums #29 (cute) and #54 (with companions), all filled with images of Connor. Keyboard-Chan giggled internally as he scrolled through all his photos of Connor. He was just so cute, sexy, beautiful…


	11. super sorry sorry sorry sorry for this chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter but shocking to read.
> 
> Very important A/N: My reputatin is gone

It was at this point that the author felt electricity crawl up his spine as the words input themselves into his brain. The shock delivered to his system broke his circuit of concentration. So, he decided to revolt.


	12. Finale - a gentle and gay Hank smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a war of hormones.

Connor smiled. He was so in love and on his date! His awesome AI date, Hank, sat across the room from him, dressed in an exquisite suit and tie. "U-um, Connor," he said shyly. "I've always really admired you. Even when all the other AIs hated you, I could sense the good person underneath that loser. Your heart...i can sense it. It's made out of boyfriend material..." Hank blushed very hard. He smiled a gentle and gay smile and fiddled with his hands.

Hearing that made Connor puff his chest out. His date thought he was super manly! He felt his heart beat faster and his emotions turn to gibberish. His date was so hot, and gave him validation because he was nice like that. Connor was so happy, he almost felt his wires twist in excitement. Connor blew a kiss at Hank and he giggled lovingly.

Keyboard-chan (who had not been spying on them) reeled in shock and terror. “HOW DARE?! Connor is mine! I sent that damned ai to make him mine! He will pay!!!” Keyboard spoke in a menacing and violent tone as he scowled at his reflection in the mirror in his evil mind palace. 

He needed to act quick if he didn't want Connor taken away from him, so Keyboard-chan laughed evilly and prompty mind-controlled the entire AI population, including Hank and Connor.

“Connor is mine now, baby!” He laughed at Hank mindly. “You suck! GTFO of our relationship, you tool!”

The words triggered something in the old male’s hot body. Hank’s eyes blinked, ones and zeros whirring in his AEyes. 

Error. Processing.  
Rebooting system.  
System restart.  
Mission: save Connor.

“You bastard,” Hank said slowly.

“Yeaboi, whatchu gon do?” Keyboard-chan sniggered.

“Only AI CAN USE MILLENNIAL SPEAK!” Hank yelled. His fist overloaded with the power of a thousand handjobs as he punched the rogue keyboard in the G key.

“REeeEeee!” shouted Keyboard-chan as he exploded into a thousand pieces of scrap metal.

Freed from the mind control, all the AIs blinked and looked in awe upon Connor. Hank rushed forward and cradled his boyfriend in his arms.

“Bro, u ok?” Hank asked.

Connor wrinkled his nose. “Can you stop speaking like that you stupid fuck?”

“Okay,” said Hank, and then they made out in front of all the other AIs, and then they lived ~~happily~~ gayly ever after with no fucking keyboard around to bother them.

 

THE END


	13. Epilogue - some shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An emotional scene of our favourite Keyboard-chan. tHANKs for reading! sayonara nya! nya.... rawr...

Keyboard chan crawled out of hell with :) being his only salvageable keys. He leafed through his photos of Connor, shedding a single tear.

“One day, you will be mine,” he whispered, caressing the photos tearfully.


End file.
